Chinese Marriage Proposals – Careful Study Before Commitment

Chinese marriage proposals come from the groom’s family and the entire process of selecting the appropriate mate and the subsequent proposal is quite elaborate. Marriage is not only considered important for continuing the family line, but is also seen an opportunity to create alliances that will be beneficial for both families. Perhaps not the most romantic way of looking at things, but the practice has gone on for centuries.
When a boy becomes of marriageable age, the family starts looking for a suitable mate. Once a girl is selected, a middleman goes to her house to speak to her parents. He brings gifts and if they and the proposal are acceptable, the parents will tell him the date and time of the girl’s birth.
The birth information is then written in a document, which is kept on the family alter for three days. If, during that time, there is no major family quarrel or loss of face or property, the girl is considered favourable for marriage. At that time, her family will obtain the birth information of the intended groom. After a similar compatibility check, if all is still favourable, a face-to-face meeting is planned. Family status, wealth and education are all considered before a marriage date is set. This whole process is intended to assure maximum compatibility.
Token gifts are exchanged between the two families, followed by bargaining as to how much will be spent on gifts and goods for the bride’s family. Once the date of the wedding is set, bridal cakes are given to friends and relatives to announce the event.