Live Life Team
People abstain from seeking help because of fear of increase in violence if it is found out by the abuser or they are financial dependent or are reluctant for a split in the family which may affect the children. Emotional attachment with the abuser is also one of the reasons for not seeking help, but there are experts who can help you in confidence.
Information, support and advice is readily available to everyone who is thinking of contacting the police or has decided on leaving the situation of domestic violence.
SUPPORT
You can call on 0808 2000 247 free from UK landline which is the National Domestic Violence Helpline and is available round the clock or go to Women’s Aid website (useful links available). Emergency call number is 999.
STAYING BACK TO SORT THINGS OUT
If you decide to give another try on your relationship because the abuser feels sorry and begs forgiveness, take some precautions like keeping money, keys, important documents and secretly kept emergency numbers in case you have to leave quickly. Take your neighbours into confidence so they keep an eye on you and provide police assistance if necessary. Children should be taught of how to seek help and if possible remove all things from the house which may be used as weapons. Finally though there is counselling support for abusers if it can be taken but do keep a limit of how many times you will forgive your abuser so that things do not go out of control.
TEMPORARILY OR PERMANENTLY LEAVING THE SITUATION
If you decide that you have to leave, then it requires planning for how much money you will need, help for moving out including transportation, housing, if necessary protection by the police and emotional and legal support. You can get in touch with your local authorities who will then be required to arrange for an alternative accommodation for you if you feel unsafe at home. Alternatively there is trained staff available with the organisations providing domestic violence services and this service is being used by thousands of women every year. You can contact through the helpline and the websites for refuges which provide accommodation for both women and their children till an alternative is not found. You have the option to stay in a far away refuge or in a nearby refuge and your partner will not be informed of your whereabouts and if you so desire you may even not inform the police.
Another way of handling the situation is to approach the civil courts to obtain an order which should abstain the abuser from coming in close proximity with you and if required take police protection. It is also possible that you can consider the option of staying in your home and try to make the abuser leave the house.
LEGALE ACTION
Legal action is also another option which is open for you, though going to the courts is a bit difficult but for the sake of the future of your children or your own future it could be the best option. For this you can approach Women’s Aid or any other domestic violence organisations for taking advise on this matter or you can even talk to the police and if you decide to do so you will have to hire a solicitor for taking the legal action.
